FEEDBACK Part 1
- It is clear that you are fully engaged in the work and you are starting to explore aspects of drawing from life as well as extend your seeing skills.
- You are writing up your thoughts in your written evaluation of each exercise well across the whole of this submission.
- Further feedback was that I have good drawing skills and am creative.
- Research more and bring it into the exercises and work
- Slow down and draw what I see and park the draw what I think I see creative bit for now
- Reference correctly using The Harvard System
- Explore tone and experiment and play more with materials
- Mapping out – more discipline needed here
- Sketchbooks – physical form – how much am I using it?
Reflections on Part 1 feedback
This was a mixed bag for me. I’d just finished one unit and had submitted it and then threw myself into this unit and had an illustrators cap still on me. On reflection I hadn’t given myself time to breathe and change lanes and really get into the drawing here. The drive was on producing the work rather than sitting into it and enjoying the process of connecting with a new unit. The focus was on task completion rather than fully engaging with experimentation.
The other bit present was pressure. I had myself under a huge amount of pressure to submit Part 1 as quickly as possible as there had been so many stops and starts with Illustration I really didn’t want to miss deadlines or extend for this unit. I had to pause it while finishing the first one! I deeply underestimated the workload associated with the course overall.
So after getting the feedback I could only see the negatives. I read through it twice and effectively lost the will to do the course. It stayed like that for a few weeks. My energy just focused on work and other areas of my life as I hadn’t the energy or the will to continue on. It felt like the things that had given me joy and a will to do this all in the first place, were not even being focused on as the study was dominating everything. Only in the last week or two have I returned to the feedback and properly reviewed it.
So my feeling at present is that the observations and feedback were great, to the point and exposed exactly what my weaknesses were. Nothing terrible in that but my ability to see past it previously was just not there. My head could make sense of it only last week and I slowly returned to it. I’m not sure why I blocked it as the whole point of the course is to experiment, exercise, draw, explore and really connect with the material. For some reason I just don’t feel I’m connecting to it right now.
I’m being very open and honest about it here, there were weeks when I wanted to pack it in and just drop the course. Even now re-reading the feedback, there isn’t anything profoundly negative about it but deep inside it feels like the love for it isn’t there. That’s never good.
So I’ve a list of things I want to be aware of for Part 2, but I’m going to see where it takes me and see if I get it done for the deadline. My heart isn’t in it and that makes me quite sad as the enthusiasm I had for choosing the course feels like it has evaporated. It’s a matter of perspective of course, but something in me just felt like ‘what is the point’ as it took way longer to complete the other unit, assessment was in March, results are due this month…the course feels like it’ll take forever to complete if I’m honest. It takes up more time than I expected and my life feels like it is little more than a work then study merry-go-round for the last 2 years. So my enthusiasm to push through this feeling is close to zero and I am not feeling the good vibes of curiosity and a want to go and explore anything.
In fact the last few weeks I went back to simply reading comics, enjoying graphic novels, doodling random stuff and feeling a sense of freedom in ignoring the course. Life felt lighter without it. Super moan here – but I wanted to let that feeling out instead of having it mope around my art space for any longer.
So for me personally, the next part is going to be an experiment on whether I want to continue to do this. If my heart isn’t in it there is no point, but I want to check whether it’s a self sabotage moment because discipline is being called upon or whether it’s a true and honest but not easy admission that this isn’t the course for me.
So in conclusion – the feedback was helpful, the points made bang on and the observations and suggestions on how to move forward relevant. My own enthusiasm isn’t present and I’ve got to observe why and whether it can be remedied. You’d think I’d channel these feelings into drawings but I’m that disconnected with it at present that I can’t be bothered to. Not a happy thing to admit or to say out loud and post on a blog – but I’m keeping it honest.